Cooper: (leashed to a tree in the front yard, gazes longingly through the window at the food, light, warmth and merriment inside)

If I had a dollar for every time a baby boomer complained about my generation, maybe I could afford to buy a house in the market they destroyed.

While I know it was years ago, as a Pats fan I watch these games and just mutter about how we lost to that guy twice at the Superbowl. Twice.

My favorite was how the commentary was trying downplay that incident.

Anyone else love Collinsworth’s pro-NFL version of why PI wasn’t called on 4th and 6 on Sheppard? “It’s basically the same as a Hail Mary, can’t call it there.” Except it wasn’t a Hail Mary, it was a mid range pass attempt where there was both defensive holding and pass interference, which both went uncalled.

On Ashley, On Kelli, On Lauren and Stacy. On Becca, On Christy, On Kirsten and Lacey.

Mac Daddy Santa. Or as Augusta used to call him, black St. Nicklaus.

.... haven’t pulled this one out in a while, but; Dear Mr. Lasner and Dear Husband of Mr. Lasner,

It looked like the Elon kid was ready to throw down and I wanted to see it.

Meriweather: Mr. Belichick, the bartender was hoping he could get paid now.

What Will it Take for Cam Newton to Draw a Flag? 

(reads explanation) (eyes glaze over)

And walking off the court without shaking your opponent’s hand is....?

I think right now, President-elect of the United States, but other than that . . . nope.

Guaranteed Fran McCaffrey stresses full effort for forty minutes and is a real asshole if any of his players look disinterested when facing an insurmountable deficit late in a game.

To be fair, the 12th man stuff is lame as fuck.

Finally, Richard Sherman admits to pass interference.

He was, if you remember, the consensus “best player available” in last year’s draft. The Cowboys, still rolling with a patchwork secondary, selected Ezekiel Elliott ahead of him, and I bet they don’t feel too bad about that. The Jags, it would be safe to assume, don’t either.

You’re comparing raping someone to flipping the bird.

Male swimmer sexually assaults a woman: “30 seconds of bad decisions should not ruin his life!”

Female soccer play flips the bird: “BURN THE WITCH!”

Got it.
Out of curiosity, if she wins...will she flip the double bird in court? I hope so.