Damn, that’s terrible. I definitely would have called campus housing on that shit.

Live was just so earnest. Sooooo Earnest. Makes them easy to mock, and I agree that they were better than how they’re remembered.

And why wasn’t the RA all up in their face like “ya’ll got to sleep somewhere else yo?”  Well, probably because RAs are only in it to get laid.

The most underrated band of the ‘90s was Poop Towel.

Right?  I think that the question is less “why was my ex roommate such an inconsiderate dick?” and more “Why was I such a spineless little twerp?” 

Dear Nick:

You could have made up a couple names in there and I would not have questioned it. 

“He said that? Jesus.”

It's like he's accusing me of giving him mono.

The OBJ play had everything I want in a football play - excitement, athleticism, the humiliation of the tastefully-named Gregg Williams...

Just in case it doesn’t make it out of the greys, I’ll post it here:

The coaching staff and players at the Browns wanted to win games when they went 1-31. The front office however very much was trying to tank. They were aggressive in trading for draft picks and had a ton of players on 1st contracts on the squad. After the deliberate tank job took hold, Browns ownership got cold feet…

But why would Dolphins fans be burning Charlotte Hornets jackets?

See this needs to be the key distinction. No one thinks that the Browns or Lions were trying to lose. Oh no, they were trying to win and still went 0-16. That takes a far more convincing degree of bad. Having the head coach in on it and running vanilla stuff that opposing teams can spot, limiting what’s installed…

*nods vigorously*

I assume I got in a cataclysmic car accident on November 8, 2016 and everything since has just been my subconscious emptying out its worst nightmares while the other parts of my brain are in standby mode.

Well NOW that’s how I feel

Has anyone ever wondered if this hideous, Twilight Zone-esque timeline of the past few years is really a comatose dream? That all of these bizarre events are really your subconscious trying to provoke your consciousness, even comatose, into recognizing that these events are unreal, implausible, and that you’re truly…