Greenwell roasts Drew for “Booty-gig,” but then proceeds to call him “Poot Buttegig.”

“You’re probably just jealous” / “What have YOU done that’s as good as X???”

Get yourself a prescription for Allopurinol and never look back; best decision I’ve made in a while.

“Dago bread” has to be the sesame seed white bread, right?

Those sandals are a damn war crime.

I can’t wait for the piping hot takes from Drew Magary’s Friday Morning EPL Tallywhacker Joke Jamboroo.

Return home from another miserable day of eking out an existence on this mountain, find that someone has broken into my hut and shit everywhere.

It’s the wasps, man. Bees are fine if left alone. They won’t go out of their way to wreck your shit if you’re minding your own business. Wasps on the other hand...

We’ve added Lord Grimdark to your grimdark in case it wasn’t dark enough for you.

They still exist, but not as many since bankruptcy. I saw one on Long Island recently.

“Guys, you know what would spice up this hair metal? An acoustic solo before the real solo!”

Iron, Cannon, and Horse are all retired now. New sets have a cat, which is a terrible choice.

You’re right, plus that Fresh Squeezed IPA is like 6.5% ABV.

I have to assume you learning how to cook was an act of rebellion against your terrible family of monsters.

“Cleveland sushi buffet” sounds like a surefire way to make a Great Moment in Poop History.

I didn’t think Evans MVP Watch would die until Robert Evans did.

Can we all just stop with the whole “Bless you” thing? It’s just weird. Stop commenting on my bodily functions, thanks.

Did the investigation determine who was holding Donna now??

Milk and Honey Original Café Mix granola

Do you find you take a lot of shit from other players playing wrong-way? Craps is definitely not a team sport, but it’s kinda fun to be at a table where everyone’s winning together.