Counterpoint: We’re talking about the Stanley Cup Playoffs, so it has nothing to do with Canada anyway.

/leads with a list of things you can never do for the rest of your life, like play hockey or watch Star Wars

I mean, the reviewer says like half a dozen times in half a dozen different ways that the game doesn’t offer anything new here. So, if you like AAA Open World Crafting Resource Collecting Skill Tree With Zombies, The Video Game, then you might be fine with this. If you’re bored of that, then no.

The glut of post-apocalyptic fiction in pop culture at large and video games in particular has led to a set of beliefs and tropes that have settled into the bones of these stories: A moral nihilism that posits compassion as weakness, that the ends justify the means, that there is a thin line protecting us from them…

I certainly cannot fault anything in this ranking for temporary tributes, but I want to point out that at #16, the Round Rock (TX) Chupacapbras probably qualify as the best candidate on this list for a permanent name change. I’m in no way familiar with any history that the Express name may hold for the team, but…

I certainly cannot fault anything in this ranking for temporary tributes, but I want to point out that at #16, the…

Hartford Yard Goats becomes the Hartford Chivos and this hat is freaking sweet. 

Hartford Yard Goats becomes the Hartford Chivos and this hat is freaking sweet. 

The Lowriders are easily top ten, and the Vineros should be hit by a car.

The Lowriders are easily top ten, and the Vineros should be hit by a car.

Still stinging over Sharky Laguana’s bullshit win over Deicide Huxtable. Even accepting the terrible way these names were bracketed, this should have been the round to decide which heretical blasphemer got the right to desecrate Alpha Omega Nickleberry III. I would have then accepted the outcome of this round whatever…

There they are Ladies and gentlemen, your 2019 Baltimore Orioles! 

This is a travesty. Jizyah Shorts owes everything to General Booty.

You sons of bitches better start showing up for Lionel Pimpin

I knew a guy once. He lost his Lord of the Family status in a best-of-three NBA Jam TE series.

Now his son writes him in as a dependent on his taxes. Boomshakalaka.

I mean, the underexplained list is a pretty common Deadspin bit. Maybe this site is too high brow for you...

It’s weird; I love Pope Thrower and Storm Duck, but Bear Spiker does nothing for me.

I met a rude sponge once, it was so self-absorbed...

let’s go Gooch-Fant *clap, clap, clap clap clap*

The Gooch-Fant was inside you all along.

No, that was Willie Simmons. He became EDW in prison. Either way, I can’t really vote for him because of the name change.

Come ON! Deicide Huxtable deserves this win. C’mon folks, it’s not decide, it’s DEICIDE. A seminal heavy metal band, and also an awesome word:

If you’re not taking a dump on someone else’s dime you aren’t living life properly.  Those of you that have hangups about public washrooms need to get over yourselves and accept this truth.