I would like to note that Joe — who sends messages via his Samsung Galaxy S9+, an AT&T 5G Evolution smartphone — prints out Deadspin articles.

Please write another article about hockey!!! I need more paper for my fire place!!

Prob need your diaper changed after Mueller report. Maybe your boyfriend can change for you

Bubba Buckaloo was seeded so poorly.  That one is going to at least the Elite 8 of NOTY.

I suppose it is too early to speculate, but I think a Jizyah Shorts/General Booty semifinal would undo the very fabric of society.

I know the High Council is wise and their word is final, but I’m a little annoyed that Bubba Buckaloo appears to be a nickname.

The fact that Cory Phast Lane isn’t the name of an 80's cover band is criminal. That is absolutely the name of a band that will crush The Outfield on a Thursday Dollar Wells night. 

Reymundo Mundo should be a 1 seed and I refuse to hear counter-arguments.

I’m hoping Jizyah Shorts makes it all the way to the end, but somehow I suspect she will finish prematurely.

Isme on first?

General Booty might be the best 13-seed of all time.  Drastically underseeded

Half of this region sound like they came from Mos Eisley Cantina regs.

How could you have a first round match-up of Candy Button Disco and General Booty? No way they should meet until the Elite 8 at the earliest.

One of the Name of The Year metrics I use is the “Spy at Baccarat Table” test where I try to imagine the person trying to introduce themselves as innocuously as possible in a luxury setting. Ionosphere Torres and Pretzel Montecarlo scored very well in that test.

Reminds me of the impossible Quindarius Gooch / Mike Diaper first round matchup last year.  Top 5 names in the entire field.

what was the pitch for Oddibe McDowell’s water bill

Ichiro is my favorite player who has never played for my team and it’s not even close.

I always find maps helpful. They are pleasant to look at and add context. And in this case, beat you over the head with “beach community,” which is probably the single best place to find shirtless men exhibiting their nipples all over the place.

God, I want to see the shit that ensues whenever this person goes outside.

Barry, I think a lot more than a few of these were trolls. God Bless the Trolls.