I recorded the greatest album ever, music that would blow your mind. I’d let you listen but my hot girlfriend has the only copy, and she lives in Canada.

From Wikipedia:

Demon Horse? It’s Blucifer to you good sir/madam.

If Lincoln was such a great President, WHY’D HE GET SHOT?!

Just one more season to go...

It’s the defenses fault for getting burnered. 

“What’s the big deal? When I got on the phone in the middle of a game I usually lost way more than $30,000.”

I want to preserve this beautiful comment forever

That got intense pretty fast.

Everyone at the game knew what he was doing the second he reached under that pad and they fucking loved it. It was a fun bit of fan service and the entire fox broadcast crew can be sewn together in a human centipede ouroboros and eat shit forever for all I care. 

Too easy, “What kind of reporter uses the word ass” an Associated Press reporter.

Where were you when cops were being shot going after that killer scumbag?

Sent from my iPhone

I wonder how many people actually read it? I was on the crapper so had to.

Where were you when cops were being shot

You are the first sports blogger to liken an entire team as garbage.

He looks like a retired gummy bear that became a police officer. 

Of course the youngest Beltran kid is stuck dressing up as the Mets version because he has no free agency.

It’s funny, he was actually trying to look like Adam Wainwright, but he whiffed.

Let’s Remember Some Guys: Jon Gruden Near-IR Wavelengths