You guys should have a grievance filed on your behalf by the Lollipop Guild.

Counterpoint: They should talk all the shit

Sitting on butt watching workout videos on the clock in a vape shop:

Dude was lucky he didn’t shoot himself right in the JUULs

OMG, this is so missing a “Hear it from your fans” section.  What seemed perfect is now making me sad.

So this must be the fashion version of justifying the Alex Smith contract.

Excellent.

Right? Nobody hardly ever talks about the people cops don’t shoot. And that’s, like, way more.

He literally wears red, white, and blue all the time like he’s some kind of MAGA chud.

So they aren’t cops.

Preposterous!

Batman is still the ultimate superhero oppressor. He’s basically Gotham’s police force (the competent one anyways) AND he owns pretty much the entire city. Spidey needs to up his game and start crushing the common man under the heel of his boot.

They just don’t go fulfilling the will of the State.

But what’s missing from the context isn’t so much what she said (although honestly I don’t know what she expected when she pulled the “you will never, ever be in another final” card I have no idea what she expected), but when she decided to say it. Arguing with the chair is one thing, but doing so after a warning…

I calculated it out: 949 calories if I give Anne the benefit of the doubt and say she ate a whole 1 oz of cheese and 5 saltines.

I’m calling it now: The Browns are going 0-0-16 this season. 

It was the rarest of rare: a Dead Letter that was 100% correct and good

This Dead Letters session was an absolute joy and really had it all: aggrieved Foo Fighters fans, insufferable baseball truthers, virulent racists, people who use hashtags out of proper context, Kobe stans, people complaining about vulgar language who apparently think this is the Reader’s Digest, and best of all, a…

“Hammered, I’m leaving you to go feed animals at a zoo in South America.”

“Go feed animals at a zoo in South America if you want to go feed animals in a zoo in South America.”

...damn, you’re right!

Defending Jeff Francoeur and his dumb ass “home runs are bad” takes is a weird hill to die on.