They don’t start Manziel because they don't want people to have a negative view of their organi........

In the old days, Joe Namath could spend Saturday night drinking tequila out of a stewardess’ navel, as long as he won on Sunday.

I mean, are we even sure McCown got hurt last night? That video could be old.

Whichever team he plays against in his final game should sign Smush Parker and Kwame Brown to one-day contracts just to fuck with him.

The difference between the steroid-ridden pterodactyl-sized turkeys they sell at your local grocery store for five cents a pound with your loyalty card versus a farm-raised free range turkey is dramatic. Don’t bitch about lousy turkey flavor when you spent less on a 20 pound bird than on a Frappucino.

In other news, the Rams are allowing Bailey a leave of absence so he can cross the length and breadth of the Mojave to hunt down his would-be killer on the 13th floor of a Vegas casino.

Watching wrestling and playing with Lego again are the best rewards of parenthood.

Yes, won’t somebody please think of the publishers, and how their feelings as a corporation would be hurt by mean people on the internet?

It isn’t the job of media to be convenient to those they report about.

Your argument is kind of weak though. Ultimately picking through a bunch of ash trays and tin cans is just busy work. It’s the illusion of depth and arguably artificial game length. Comparing that to stripping down leveling systems is apples to oranges. You can keep deep systems without getting bogged down in busy…

Not a huge surprise they settled. Cases like this only go to trial once in a black and blue moon.

15. Getting Hit By a Car

No, he won’t take $5000 off.

I would insist on keeping a spare steering wheel on the passenger seat and make my passenger wave it out the window while I veered back and forth.

I only get a ration of 48 internet clicks a day!

Sorry you wasted your precious Internet clicks on this article.

I have a severe Steve Glutenburg allergy. It requires me to bring my own toaster.

When in doubt, always bet on any glute-free-related story.

Anyone who ever hated France because they didn’t support the Iraq War was an asshole in the first place.

“I’ll leave you this teddy bear to help you feel safe tonight. No, that’s totally not a hidden camera inside it. Why do you ask?”