Not a huge surprise they settled. Cases like this only go to trial once in a black and blue moon.

15. Getting Hit By a Car

No, he won’t take $5000 off.

I would insist on keeping a spare steering wheel on the passenger seat and make my passenger wave it out the window while I veered back and forth.

I only get a ration of 48 internet clicks a day!

Sorry you wasted your precious Internet clicks on this article.

I have a severe Steve Glutenburg allergy. It requires me to bring my own toaster.

When in doubt, always bet on any glute-free-related story.

Anyone who ever hated France because they didn’t support the Iraq War was an asshole in the first place.

“I’ll leave you this teddy bear to help you feel safe tonight. No, that’s totally not a hidden camera inside it. Why do you ask?”

Why is it that when this guy says he wants to play for the Browns it’s called inspirational, but when someone on the team says they want to play for the Browns it’s called Stockholm Syndrome?

“I said you could use my resume as a template, not make a crazy sign on the back of it.”

San Antonio: VIA Bus(local bus company name) from Alamodome Christmas 2005(?) New Orleans Saints v Detroit(?). When Saints were temporary the San Antonio Saints because Tom Benson is a resident. You park off site and VIA takes you to the Dome.

Full bus after game, girl sitting on top of guy at almost back of bus.…

I was in Atlanta on business and took MARTA instead of renting a car. I had the worst head cold of my life and could not smell anything. I was coughing up a storm. About 5 minutes in to my ride I noticed people were staring at me strange, almost with fear. This went on for about two stops until a nice Asian lady came…

Welp. fantasy sports players are requesting selfies with @darrenrovell.

It’s not a silent killer. First it goes “SCCCRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECCCCHHH!”

The “n-word” in question was “notgoodatfootball”.

I hate to say it, but Rockefeller Republicanism is long-dead. If the Republican Party could go back to those ideals, they'd get my vote every election. Instead, I vote Democratic.

Its seeming more and more like we’re the new silent majority....the fiscal conservative, social liberal. We need to make massive, painful changes to medicare/medicaid/social security now, but at the same time we need to make massive, painful cuts to defense spending as well.

I’ve been a Republican for a long time and the only thing I can do is look at this shit show, shake my head, and not vote for any of these clowns. We need a Republican party that looks at the Democrat’s ideas and says “that’s a good idea now let’s figure out how to afford it.” We don’t need the Republican party to…