Fast food spousal abuser on a budget, eh?

Everyone knows Wendy's Spicy Chicken Sandwich is the the way to go here.

People tend to get a little bent out of shape when imbeciles make ludicrous, baseless arguments against reality.

tl;dr

Filed to: THIS IS SO STUPID

I guess if you ignore the fact that one is a Hall of Fame QB who has the full grasp of a complex offensive scheme, and the other is a potential bust whose best NFL season came in a dumbed-down one-read gimmick offense, the two are comparable.

All the ill will directed at Sidney Crosby seems to be missing the target.

I just wish Rick Reilly had written this attempt at "satire". Heads in the Deadspin offices would have exploded trying to decide which side to take.

I've seen Dumb & Dumber roughly 200 times, and still lose it every time he whales her in the face with that snowball.

You've heard of gin, right Drew?

12 times per month? When did we go to a 20-month calendar?

It was a dessert recommendation.

Other than athletically, how else is this young man superior?

Only a matter of time until FIFA tells us they can't take the World Cup away from Qatar because all those stadium-building slaves would have died in vain.

Cornwell had to first explain to his client what a "request" is.

Don't blame Jeremy Hill for that fact that you don't know what a "handcuff" is.

Wow, so he is exactly like every single golfer who ever three putted.

Well, I should be getting your best service based on my presence in the restaurant - being a courteous guest should be my only responsibility.

His wife must be a really sound sleeper, like most people who are buried in a shallow backyard grave.

Take 5 is criminally underrated, definitely passed over in the draft by all those glory boy candies.