I'm currently on the gummy bears and whiskey diet. Occasionally I throw in some pizza slices, for my health.

In the week before my wedding (while also a 10+ hr in the lab grad student), I completely lost interest in eating and lived on red and green Gobstoppers. Or, as I called it, the Hummingbird Diet.

The "I'm Literally Too Poor to Buy Food" Diet kept me svelt as hell in my early 20s.

Hey, I tried this one too! I had a wide range of foods though: candy and cookies AND brownies. I actually developed some stomach issues that I thought were genetic but mysteriously went away when I stopped eating so much sugar.

I did the lemon, maple syrup, cayenne pepper thing when I was a dumb 20 year old but because I was a dumb 20 year old I still drank vodka and smoked heavily during my cleanse. #noregrets

The SlimFast Diet when I was 18. I didn't need to lose any weight, but a co-worker talked me into doing this with her for "moral support." I followed it to the letter and gained 5 lbs.

I guess it's settled then, I'll be having Chinese tonight. Haven't decided on the tears though, that'll depend on how far into the bourbon I get.

Adderal Diet: I lost 40lbs but it took 3 years.

True, but that "Rachel cut" was inescapable. I was doing hair during those years. The number of people who described the Rachel cut, and then said, "but I don't want the Rachel cut," was hysterical.

Does anyone else have that horrible Friends phenomenon of realizing that you're older than they are meant to be and freaking out? They seemed SO GROWN UP when I was a teenager.

Rachel has two sisters. We're introduced to Jill first (played by Reese Witherspoon), who goes out with Ross to piss off Rachel.

Yes. Very big. I think I still have a bottle of this at my parents house.

How come no ones lambastes Friends for featuring only privileged white people and no minorities, despite it being set in NYC, when Girls get fucking torn apart for it???

I went to this Indian spot for a late lunch and ordered two dishes to take to a friend's house. When they brought out the bag, on the top of the tag it said "take out***Fat". I was way too shocked and humiliated to even react, let alone bring it to the attention of the manager. It sucks too, because now I won't go…

Stay tuned for 2017 when Blade Runner fanboys will demand, "Where's my Pleasure Replicants?"

What is this? MISERY MARATHON? Every year for the past 55 years, Jezebel has traditionally started the "Season Of Being Fucking Miserable And/Or Annoyed By The Enjoyments Of Others" around Thanksgiving (ughh... I need xanax, like now), carried the sentiment over to Christmas (MDMA, Alcohol and anti anxiety medication)…

The second movie is not the worst. That would be the third. On it's own, it's an OK movie. But the first two are better and the third one feels way unconnected to the first two, because of the Wild West setting. And Doc is a dick at the end. "Hey Marty, I built a new time machine. But you can't come with me and my…

Even if the physics of a hoverboard made any sense and we actually had them, some dumbass kid would snap his fucking neck falling off one and then his shithole parents would sue the company into bankruptcy and they'd disappear anyway. Because Murica.

that last tweet is on point