Tackle Sebastian, tackle!  That boy just don’t listen.

And that is why pretty much no one is here.

Thanks for demonstrating the potential of Deadspin for good.  Truly enjoyed the article.

This is no longer your father’s Deadspin.

The Phillies did not make the postseason.

Still think this is my favorite of the year.

Thanks for this, Bart O’SpoonLord.

And just when you thought the Jets couldn’t get any more Jets.  I would guess there will not be a single play this year that encapsulates the Jets, but then again they are the Jets.

In all honesty, can anything really be beneath Deadspin?

Naw, he’s already tabbed back to holmgrenhoneys.com.

Good to see Pennsylvania police cracking down on white collar crime for a change.

Holy shit, you really are Trump.

I just want MLB to stop screwing Wisconsin over and finally put a major league team there.

Goddammit. Despite your amazingly inane take on candy corn, you grow increasingly harder to dislike. I’ll keep at it, though.

Their W/L record has nothing on the Carolina Panthers’.

A Deadspin article with potential sympathy for a scab? Someone go wake up hamno!

Came here for this.  Thank you.

“Sounds to me like some normal Deadspin shit.” is gonna be my new go-to that nobody other than the deep gray divers will ever see.