This just in: Voldemort Darth Vader Lex Luthor Satan Stephen Miller just tested positive for COVID19.

I had to take steroids for a while. I was sick as a dog but felt like I had superpowers. On the bright side I did a shit-ton of work that I had been putting off. On the down side, when I was tapering of from prednisone it took months and every reduction in dose felt like a donkey kicked me in the pancreas.

So, he just came out of the hospital, went around the block in a limo, waved at supporters, and went back into the hospital. So.... he’s not completely wiped out.

That unbelievable din you are hearing is the simultaneous ringing of every bookie’s phone, nationwide, non-stop. Expect it to keep up for the next 24-36 hours.

Well, that is a new entry in the “Stupidest Thing Ever Said” contest. WTAF.

Kellyanne Conway just tested positive after attending a WH event.

“Look at what they were wearing. They were just trying to get with a powerful man.”

So, based on the fact that Trump accuses his opponents of doing what he is already doing, I am certain he will have an earpiece and a fistful of uppers before the debate.

It’s time for the pointless refusal to wear a mask and stop possibly spreading a potentially fatal infection to wear off.

So...... Playboy magazine is considered soft-core pornography, and she was a centerfold, so doesn’t that make her a soft-core pornographic model, one specific sub-category of porn stars?

Dear Trolls,

I believe that BLM in this context refers to Belarusian-Linked-Moldovans.

Oooo, she’s so edgy. Now I really like her. 

Well —to her credit— I understand that child rape by demons is way worse than regular child rape.

He was drunk.

Wow. Teacher dies from COVID19. Who could have seen this coming?

Well, the problem started when the City signed a contract with the police union that specified what penalties would be allowed for various types of behavioral infractions.

No guns at demonstrations!?! But what if I have a really small penis and need to carry a big, rugged assault weapon to feel like a real man?

Yes, they can be impeached..... I am sure all the Senators with “R” in their descriptions will uphold the constitution that they swore to defend, then will do the right thing and will demand that Barr resign or be impeached. Just like they did with DJT’s impeachment. High integrity individuals there.

Trump and Ivanka dissing Tiffany’s looks