Please don’t criticize a person’s physical appearance.

...thought Branch would have a big 2015.

Roasting is less than ideal. Braising is the preferred method of cooking tough gristled cuts of meat from old animals.

Is a hipster’s word worth nothing these days?

This reminds me of when Dirt McGirt passed and my college newspaper editor and I came up with “ODB DOA AKA BBJ RIP”.

I’ve heard LeBron’s personal motto is “Carpe Diem,” but I think in this case he took it way too far.

Day says the good news is that Ellie is fine. But she can no longer enjoys listening to Dave Matthews Band.

Similarly, when I open the front door, nobody expects me to have pants on.

“I have to wear what?”

Former UNLV basketball coach Jerry Tarkanian will one day leap out of his coffin, perform his signature towel-biting move, and then take away the voting rights of minorities.

Interesting. In New York, dolus eventualis means that, no matter what, James Dolan eventually fucks up everything.

LOL at you taking “Big Shot Bob” at face value. Holy shit.

Big Shot Bob also scored 28 2 games ago and 18 4 games ago. You keep Lord Covington’s name out of your mouth.

“Who wants to project Mutombo!?!”

Jim Abbott.

[kingkelly was faster than me]

I’m perfectly fine with all of this if it means landing Ben Simmons. Even more than last season I’m hoping we lose every game and I'm actually disappointed when they waste a game by getting a W.

I send my one nighters home with a sense that their lives have become very small and a burning desire for religious fulfillment.

They showed him a picture of all the Kardashians, told him Khloe is the one that belongs to him, and now he conveniently can’t remember anything?

I can safely say no one guessed that it was Mr. Green in the lobby area with his fist.