His finishing move is “The Safe Space” in which he runs his opponent over from inside his Prius.

Yeah - she’s all like “Come at me, birch!”

I wonder if beating up trees makes her poplar at school. Hey, I’m just ashing questions.

While I thought I knew pretty much everything about football (except what a catch in the NFL is) can someone explain how this is legal?

Let me knows what he thinks about that once he sobers up.

As a Jew, I’ve been wondering this whole election “when are the Jews going to get dragged into this?”

“Let’s go to the tape...no not that tape Kevin. The tape is clear that...no I don’t mean the clear tape. I mean the film. No not the film the adhesive leaves behind on your cheek...”

Is this sports?

Geez. Even the refs don’t watch WNBA games.

Ophthalmologist: Something wrong?

Or that they are “beautiful human submarines.” Gotta be honest, I don’t understand what that means, but if my man Bone says it, I believe it.

It sucks to be on the receiving end of a Kobe beef.

Their tears are so delicious

He got all huffy.

Look, how else is a man supposed to compliment his daughter when the only compliments he knows how to give any woman are that he finds her attractive enough to have sex with?

You’d have to have a pretty crazy reason to do something like this on purpose. Schilling’s just pointing out the obvious: the person responsible clearly had a loco motive.

God, it’s like if Trump knew enough about cyber to write a blog.

Curt hasn’t been this invested in a trainwreck since 38 Studios.

You mean Meg Trump.

“Even as Mr. Trump’s advisers publicly backed him on Tuesday and praised his debate performance, they were privately awash in second-guessing about why he stopped attacking Mrs. Clinton on trade and character issues and instead grew erratic, impatient and subdued as the night went on.”