Hell yeah. I’ll stick to asking the device that is in my pocket and constantly on my person all day every day instead. Fuck the system!

I think 99% of people flatter themselves by thinking anyone wants to hear the inane conversations they have everyday. What, do you think they sit around going, “Hey Dave, you gotta hear this. This guy wants his wife to pass him the pepper!”

Nah, if it’s a group, there’s always someone moving it. Maybe more than one. But if you’re by yourself, that’s actually the devil for real. Don’t do that.

I’m sorry to reveal, this is all nonsense. Ouija works because I move the thing on purpose. There is someone like me in every group. We know the answers or have a good guess and we intentionally move the needle because we think it’s funny. Sorry people.

It’s a medium for your stupidity.

Even though I am a grown woman with a Masters of Science (Math, minor Physics), I won’t say “Bloody Mary”, “Candyman” or “Baby Blue” in front of a mirror.

Yeah right. Next you’re going to tell me Bloody Mary isn’t real, and nobody has been levitated by reciting light-as-a-feather-stiff-as-a-board.

“Looks full to me! Biggest crowd, ever.”

2017: Where confidently lying about crowd sizes while the anyone with eyes can see you’re lying is the new normal.

Yeah, but in 2,000 years crowds will -flock- to the ruins of Little Caesar’s Arena.

Counterpoint: ‘White Fang’ and ‘The Call of the Wild’ are touchstones of North American cultural literacy.

Bledsoe may hate it there, but at least it’s a dry hate.

Landed wrong and now his foot is on backwards.

Director, half paying attention: Gimme camera 2. [glances up at screen] NOOOO GOD STOP TAKE IT AWAY [claws own eyes out]

All of these burgers are good. The first time I had In N Out was in Phoenix. People kept telling me I had to have it in California. So I had it in San Diego. Still just, good. I had it once more in San Antonio (after a daughter’s field trip) just to tell those fuckers I’ve had it in 3 states and it’s still just,…

Man do you sound like a cunt.

Devils Advocacy has given rise to the entire MRA movement and most terrible conservative thought experiments. “What is an entire state stopped charging taxes on businesses and quit funding the education department?” “What if we remove a woman’s right to choose but also don’t cover her birth control or properly educate…

I’m really tired of cowards hiding their bullshit within the context of “just asking questions” or pointless hypotheticals.

In the south, all soft drinks are coke.

Fredrick Douglass did a lot of good work with MLK to get that passed. Without resorting to grandstanding like NFL players do now.