Being an adult is a good thing - it means 1) you are not dead and, 2) you were smart enough to survive the turbulence of being a teenager. PLUS - independence and having the power to make your own choices is better than being a “girl” forever.

I guess I don’t see being adult as being a bad thing. Getting old is better than the alternative ;-)

Doesn’t she live in California? So that would be 4am.

I like to call Casey Affleck “The one who can actually act.”

Calm down there, Satan.

There should be a special state law that says if you make a delivery guy deliver without tipping him in the middle of a storm, he should legally be able to throw you down the stairs. The higher up you live, the more steps he gets to use.

the rewrite is wrong on every level and i adore it

“Because she has probably been aborted,” said Mother Teresa.

Why do you think we haven’t had a woman as president yet?” First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton asked her guest over their lunch at the White House in 1995.

find what you love and let it kill you

Can we go one post about Chipotle without someone posting this EXACT comment?

Read the fucking article, idiot. You should have gotten a brand new Birkin. Way better investment than a BMW.

Vaseline for the win. I put on before bed every night and it works great. And you can get it cheap.

The problem isn’t that Gervais is outrageous. It’s that he’s not funny. Which I could take, except he doubles down by being a smarmy asshole.

Exactly. Like, thanks for all this irrelevant information. Instead of putting the victim’s (alleged) sexual history on blast, feel free to continue with the investigation of the actual crime.

“Malarkey, bitch.”

Michelle. Wow. #slayoftheunion

How fucking salty does Paul Ryan look right now? He looks like he has never hated his life more, which makes me tremendously happy.

this is why i always laugh the hardest at my own jokes, to show my strength and dominance.