Sucks to be you, Other Grandma!

This is small town life in a nutshell. People idealize and romanticize small town life, like it’s some sort of fucking paradise.
Living in a small town is a goddamn nightmare. Everybody knows everybody (*shudder*), which means you can’t take an anonymous trip to the fucking grocery store in peace. And they all know…

If a guy could get pregnant by giving himself head, Piers Morgan would be the resulting child.

I think all newsreaders should wear hats and the hats should be fabulous:

Or when one hears the same criticism over and over with no additional insight.

To be fair, most people would resent criticism if it clearly coming from an ignorant place and absolutely not rooted in reality. So yes, I resent his criticism.

Remember that time I kept getting told I had pneumonia and my back pain was “unrelated” and we don’t know what’s causing it, but take some Aleve we guess, and then I was diagnosed with STAGE IV CANCER? hahahahahahahafuckyoudoctors

It is a hug wrapped in choux pastry, and a second of it is more soothing than an hour of meditation.

I mean yes, but more importantly, the INNUENDO. That’s the main reason it was the most-watched show in the UK this year. We LOVE a fiddly dough ball, or an erect religieuse.

That’s weird, I don’t remember writing this, but you sure took the words right out of my mouth.

OK, that’s it. I consider myself a generous person and since it’s the holiday season, I feel I need to give more so here it is.

I mean, I enjoy Margaret Cho, but can’t this show just die already?

Lowe’s is hella stellar.

Where’s the dating website that uses an algorithm entirely based on TV tastes? Now THAT I would trust.

This show is for stupid people.

I have people in my life that i like and respect who like this show and I honestly can just barely mask my contempt

Counterpoint: There is no better snack food than chocolate milk.