Cool story bro, but you know who would say that? An alien!

If it shortens to every 15 days, then every 14 days, and so forth, we’ve got a problem.

congratulations on finding the joke.

Some company should really bundle all these streaming services together and charge me one exorbitant monthly fee. I won't be able to watch all of them, but at least this way I'll have them.

Well, okay friend, keep in mind that as a male, who preferred the Metallica and Nine Inch Nails that had been pushed off MTV in favor of the boy bands and Britney Spears clones that supplanted them, and had reliable access to the internet because I was entering or in college at the time, I was outside of her target…

Well, and also, Shakira is the younger of the two performers, and has had a career based on suggestive dancing for . . . what, twenty-some odd years at this point? I remember first hearing about her as a Britney Spears clone at either the end of high school or early college years, which was twenty years ago now.

That’s his excuse, when it was really the football men in tight pants that tested his zipper.

“I studied every crotch-shot extensively. From every available crotch-shot angle I could grab. I searched other crotch-shots throughout previous Halftime shows to compare to this year’s series of crotch-shots. I even looked down other, darker avenues of the internet to research crotch-shots. Believe me, I have…

He doesn’t have a 12-year-old son. He has an adult son who likes downloading kiddie porn.

Exactly. His cause of action is that getting an angry boner . . . damaged him? And in fact caused him damage in the amount of *does some quick googling* roughly 9x the total amount of wealth owned by everyone in the United States?

“I did not watch the halftime show live, but you better believe that I watched and rewatched clips over and over in the past week. Using every available watching technologies, including pausing, slo-motion, close-ups. (Oh man the close-ups.)All in the confines of my locked darkened study on my internets.”

He’s complaining because it’s so easy for him to get a boner? Is that the gist of this thing? Because people pay reeeeeallly good money these days to get a boner. Or, uh, so I’ve heard.

When told he was caught on camera, the badger replied he didn’t care.

Confession time. Despite all my attempts to the contrary, I have been outed as an extra-terrestrial a number of times on the Gawker Univision Gizmodo network by keen-eyed sleuths. Honestly, after 15 (15!!!) seasons of “Ancient Aliens” how can there not be aliens among us cutting our hair, doing our taxes, waxing our…

So many people running to the defense of a mutlibillionaire.  These guys horde 10's of billions of dollars and yes 14 million coming from him is nothing.  Asian communities have raised much more than him.  And yes my family have contributed.  He should actually be ashamed of himself for such a small donation. 

For everyone bashing the author about not donating: do you know how much his net worth is? I doubt it’s in the billions. Furthermore, how do you know he HASN’T donated to other causes prior to the viral outbreak? His point is that, if he had the resources of these billionaires, he would (hopefully) use those resources…

FIFY

The documentary will be worth it if this guy can become a popular meme again. Forget all the animals, celebrity reactions, etc — Giorgio Tsoukalos remains the best.

Definitely check out SLOW TV. As I’m typing, “All Aboard: A Train Ride Through Norway” is on. It’s literally a POV train ride....through Norway....and it’s SLOW.....TV.