Last season I found myself hanging out in an airport bar, and the guy next to me started chatting. A Steelers game was on, and he asked me if I knew who Big Ben was. I said “sure, you mean the bathroom rapist?”

Hey PZV. I got Drew, even after the unfortunate brain injury, over your fat assed rapist quarterback in a push-up contest. 

There is a Jewish historian named Josephus who wrote Antiquities of the Jews around 93 A.D., and he mentions Christ being an actual person. He writes this from a historical perspective, not a religious one. At some point, you should accept his historical existence as fact, as believing that does not require you to…

Given that scholars who have studied the topic all basically agree that the man existed based on all relevant historical sources, I don’t know why I should disagree with them.

The historicity of Jesus is pretty well established.  Whether you believe he is the son of god is an entirely different matter. 

i dont know why i’m laughing so hard at “mom” but i love it. i love a well placed mom. 

I give the edge to historical figures being the most famous. How many people are going to remember somebody like Cher or even Michael Jackson in 200 years?

I feel like there are any number of potential creative ways to make the best of honoring the letter of that contract. Place a plaque reading, “<— Fuck This Guy” two feet away, or strew birdseed on the ground every morning until local pigeons are trained to come and shit in that specific spot.

I’m kind of hoping Drew sees that comment and adds it as a late submission.

Never would have thought the French would give up so easily.

An artifact of modern basketball coverage, a vocation now more than ever largely done by aspirational dweebs all but nakedly auditioning for front-office jobs in the league

IF THE MOON WERE MADE OF RIBS WOULD YOU EAT IT!? It’s a simple question, Norm! Just say yes, and we’ll move on!

Dear Penthouse,

If you were a hot dog, would you eat yourself? I know I would.

Jaxson Hayes humiliated Mychal Mulder in what I like to call “The Battle of Two Guys Whose First Names I Definitely Would’ve Spelled Wrong if I Hadn’t Seen Them in Print First.”

But can we trust you if you’re a former brain injury doc?

A bottle of wine is made of glass so you can drink the whole thing and honestly say you only had one glass.

First, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Actually, 3 of his wives are pissed at him; the others are supportive. 

There is a certain age/demo of fan that rips players for being “disloyal.” I don’t think there are many under age 40 like that, but as the age bracket gets above that, watch out!