*Fuck the Cardinals and fuck the Braves for making us praise the Cardinals.**

This is the definition of a strawman.

“You may think you hate it now, but wait until you drive it!”

I am anxiously awaiting a mash-up of Jim Tomsula lifehacks actually IN New Orleans, including Coach Jim’s suggestions for:
* Dented-can gumbo
* Best hours to scour the Harrah’s casino dumpster (4 am Sundays, before the Superdome opens for a quick shower)
* Where to park your car/tent/camper/hotel in 9th Ward.
* Candied…

I loved checking out St. Louis Cathedral (while high) and staring at its painted ceilings.

Because all of the beer will just fall out of the hole in the back his head, dumbass.  Don’t you know anything about how the body works?

In a blowout they should just snap the ball and everyone agree to stand there until the clock runs out. No need for more snaps, everyone can shake hands and move on with their life.

MF said “Nautious.” Like he didn’t even give it a good shot. Typed out a word that look like a Transformer that turns into a sailboat.

I bet she didn’t see this coming. 

Don’t let this distract you from the fact the Phillies paid Bryce Harper $330,000,000 for 13 years.

He thought it was a catch, but he failed to complete a “baseball move”.

I don’t think they’re going to Vegas in a “down on my luck, nothing left to lose” way. More in a “haven’t been relevant in 30 years so I guess I’ll do a residency at the MGM” way.

I haven’t been this proud to be Canadian since the 2016 US presidential election.

I’m starting to think this Antonio Brown fella just might be a little bit unbalanced.

Well I’m a doctor and I say if you don’t start secretly recording all your phone conversations then you’ll get cancer and die.

“Some people are fans of the Los Angeles Chargers.”

65% of Charger fans have at one point lived in Philip Rivers’ ballsack.

Looks like Burneko broke his writing cherry.

So on Monday can we expect to see Worst Foods to Barf?

Man. He shoulda belittled you for dating an 11-year old.