IKR? My friend who is super cool and on the edge of fashion (he designs and sews) was at a club and a bunch of douches were all, 'Hey old man what are you doing here?' I wished I was there so I could throw my drink in their faces and ask them if they planned to kill themselves at 30. Fucking Logan's Run bitches.

ALSO. Jesus FUCKING CHRIST with the over reaching youth culture bullshit. Know what 20 somethings? YOU ARE AGING. Just because people are over 40 doesn't mean they are these tragic figures ready to die. Fucks sake. I hate youth culture today, fucking people are worse than the goddamn baby boomers.

I would be more embarrassed about this tbh...(secretly i love this)

And the "stagecraft" is just dopey sharks.

Perry can neither sing nor dance. Take away the stagecraft and there is nothing there.

Douche booster. Ha ha ha. That's my favorite.

AFAIK, science hasn't developed a vaccine for head pubes yet, so it's probably not that.

Now I am imagining a hunting show where they track the elusive "Cunt Weasel"

I don't remember those, but I do remember Popples. (I may be dating myself here) They were cute critters that could tuck themselves into a ball.

It's the only way to maintain this level of douchrocketry.

Empathy. He doesn't wanna risk catching that!

I think he's just getting his douche booster.

canadian friends, how are your handwashing statutes? how much french do i have to learn? do you have any non snowy places? who wants a roommate?

"Ladies and especially gentlemen, I did not become senator of the great state of North Carolina by washing my hands daily like some kind of liberal pussy. Personal hygiene is for communists."

She's going to get the full Bratz doll treatment, complete with crotchless fruit roll up panties and six pounds of black eyeliner.

Which I'm not against in general, but, you know. This shit's supposed to be for six-year-olds.

I suggest a doll named "Judgemental Wheatgrass"

It's actually from an episode of Robot Chicken on Adult Swim. The Bitch Pudding character became so popular they made a special episode just for her. She's freakin' hilarious.

Two words: BIIIIIIITCH PUDDING.

How about making Bitch Pudding a real character? Seriously, I'd totally watch that.

Dress her up like Bettie Page and call her "Strawberry Cheesecake"?