iPhoned a friend to help me come up with this ones.

Thanks, Obama…

Fair enough. As a side note, John Oliver has a pretty good segment on it actually.

To be fair, it's our current congress that's holding up funding for infrastructure upkeep.

-Bill Cosby

Unfortunately, I don't think this precludes that.

The A.V. Club

I'm upset with modern society's state of affairs just at the thought that that is not only possible but likely.

Fecist.

Inukshuk?

They're biting The Hand That Feeds them.

(that's the joke)

That's why I avoid doing difficult work by using my Ham radio to transmit coded messages to my colleagues.

**kisses Franklin**

Yeah engineering! I would never argue that (most) liberal arts degrees are completely useless, but they are the primary way for universities to prey on the insufferable.

The system probably got you mixed up with Grows New Hair. Did they happen to mention a condition called Graft vs. Host (GVH)?

There's a LinkedIn joke here somewhere…

I'll have you know I got my job through an acquaintance of my mother, thank you very much!

I think they'd still be doing all right without it…

Well, everybody in East Tennessee goes to Myrtle Beach for that, so I guess it evens out.