That’s what you get for being an Ashanti fan in 2015.

Can we ban people who don't effing know what humanism is from using the word in conversation or nah?

These aren’t “minor “drug infractions. “Non-violent” means simply that they didn’t, for example, possess a weapon in furtherance of a drug trafficking crime. These pardons are all federal charges, and the federal doesn’t charge simple possession. The people being pardoned were eligible for life sentences, have served…

People are nagging Obama about this half-measure, but can you imagine how difficult it was to get anyone to agree with him on letting even one non-violent offender go free? Freeing 80 whole prisoners probably required 80 separate 72-hour filibusters.

“EAT YOUR SHAME CREATIONS IN SOLITUDE LIKE THE REST OF US, FREAK!”*

Some of these customers really need to learn when to keep stuff private. Like raw cake batter...whip up a cake mix and eat it at home. Hell, a lot of the brownie batter doesn’t make into the pan when I bake. Want to suck straight caramel sauce out of the jar or bag? Do so at home, treat yo self. You can even find…

Paula Deen’s entire career is based on this simple yet accurate principle.

although they got very lucky with the ref against German

Hope is an asshole, but right now is a time to celebrate for everyone else on the team who has worked hard and dedicating their lives for this. Let's not allow bad people prevent us from having nice things.

Two goals in such quick succession. I think they were surprised by the level of our attack. They seem off-Axis.

DON’T WAIT CALL NOW

As someone who sometimes puts his dick in other guys’ butts, I disagree.

The succinct honesty is so, so refreshing.

Glady. Thank you.

Dunham may not be everyone’s cup of tea but I would say interning for a best-selling author, successful showrunner, actress, and television writer is pretty goddamn good for a 16-year-old.

You all have just made me feel SO validated. I went with my older sister and six year old niece, and I was the only one who cried. Although, my niece did crawl into my lap and whisper in my ear “I’m sad too, Auntie. I think it will be okay.” My sister mocks me because I cry in basically every “kids” movie. (But, I…

I thought the voice talent was spot on for all 4 emotions. Phyllis Smith just killed me.

Oh man.

I continue to be amazed by how many forms addiction takes. Hers is tanning, mine is candy. Whoever is free of addiction is a kind of miracle angel seraph unicorn to me.