$10 and up?

Coffee.

Only a football player could take a bullet to the head and be all, “Eh, no biggie.”

THE STORY, repeated:
***

I just want to say again: I ate at a Chinese restaurant with rusty saws ont he walls that repeatedly tried to poison me with accidentally-uncooked soup. It may or may not have been a criminal front for something.

There’s a market for performance-enhancing drug in competitions, too.

Some background: My dad used to be REALLY HEAVY. He was in a car accident, broke his leg and couldn’t exercise, and had to get the gastric bypass surgery. it worked for him, but he has that syndrome many formerly fat people have - he looks in the mirror, and still sees himself as fat. Only, to reconcile this…

“When will you get a real job?” happens no matter what job you have. I’ve worked in sales, tech, and publication, only to have relatives say, “You haven’t worked a day in your life.”

Wow. Elder care is... it’s rough. And worth it. And your family will HATE you because they feel guilty.

I’ve had times when potlucks come around, but I’m genuinely broke. One time, I only was able to bring bread. Mind you, it was homemade bread taken out of the oven secondsbefore I hot-potatoed it in the car to drive over, but still. Sometimes people can, sometimes they can’t. But if you’rebroke, you can make that loaf…

I have relatives who think that Christianity should be wiped out, and relatives who think that Christianity should be the only religion. For years, the witches (not wiccans) would send curses to the Christians through the post office, but then later they bonded over a mutual love of Star Trek and Babylon 5.

God bless…

I’ve only had a few uncomfortable-ish Thanksgiving stories, really.

I knew someone who named their kids Adam and Eve. This one time, they were visiting, and the siblings were running around playing. We heard a CRASH in another room and ran only to find that they had broken a lamp.

Sounds good!

I really think that Wolverine’s death should have been Cyclops frying him until all that’s left is the adamantium.

He’s gonna go Super Saiyan, isn’t he?

Nue-cue-lar
Am-boh-lanse
Sec-eh-tary.

But don’t you know? Just like Bush, Obama is going to suspend all elections and declare himself dictator for life!!!!!

Doesn’t work. It’s like trying to stop a tidal wave with a single pair of hands.

It’s the smoking gun that will end his presidency.