Also, swerving to hit a guy is more illegal than passing on a double yellow line.

I don’t care if passing on a double yelow line is unsafe or illegal, SWERVING TO HIT SOMEBODY is attempted murder, and thus worse. If breaking a traffic law made it okay to swerve to hit you, then traffic laws are a lot different than I thought, and I’ve got some jaywalkers I need to run down.

Maybe we’ll get lucky and they will all set themselves on fire in protest.

We need to go back to our hunter-gatherer ways. Except without the hunting, it’s humane. And without the gathering, that has an environmental impact. But we have to avoid artificial things, like meat and fruits and liquids! That’s where all health problems come from!

Pixar, meanwhile, is obsessed with making all its female characters cross their eyes and smile with only one half of their mouth. We don’t mock Pixar Face because Pixar generally does better movies, but... once you notice it, it becomes extremely annoying.

(EDIT) Actually, it did make a difference. At the time, I looked it up, found that it ws wildly illegal, and went to the boss with this. He took a look at the info, and then Mysteriously Lost(tm) the signed affidavits - so that way he wouldn’t have to tell the operations manager “you did a bad thing,” but nobody had…

I made such a Freudian typo.

Anyway, PINKHAM’S LAY and REVERSE PINKHAM’S LAW:

There is nothing wrong with that last customer. Clearly, she was a robot who uses canola oil as fuel, and is trying to disguise herself as a human by ordering it with popcorn.

Of course she can’t eat lettuce. Lettuce is crunchy. There needs to be legislation to protect the millions of people who are allergic to crunchy.

but half the fun of having a “weird” name is pretending to Judge the people who can’t pronounce it right.

Yeah, same boat, here. I’m guessing it ties into their big underground final battle somehow?

But he isn’t married to Mary Jane. Peter as a character has no value without his marriage. I don’t care how successful he is in his corporate world, a person like Peter Parker needs to be defined by his relationships to have value.

The internet was made for this.

Huh, whaddaya know. Color me surprised.

Has anything from Kickstarter actually, y’know, not been a total scam?

You shouldn’t have to pay for games, man. Games should be free, just like music and health insurance and food!

Life begins when the brain completes developing. That’s like, 22 or 23, right?

I was waiting for Matthe McCounaghy guy to do the chest-thumping and humming, but alas.

I want to hire a lady to follow me around in a wedding dress, accusing everybody I see of “Ruining my wedding day!”