So, I worked for a place once that tried to make all emploees sign but not date affidavits stating that we A: voluntarily resign, because B: we were guily of serious malfeasance and unethical conduct, and C: forsake all rights to unemployment or compensation. The intention was to use this on everybody - if you were…

RICO charges? Nah, they should be tied up and locked in an empty room with A: their employee, and B: a succession of weapons and torture devises.

It’s an incentive!

Because it’s only a matter of time before people A: defend stealing tip, or B: post here to brag about how they refuse to tip, or C: do both, I have a single set response for all of you:

I’m split. He should tip at least 20%, period, but the restaurant did a douche move by lying and pretending it was the law.

Wouldn’t shooting up a Waffle House actually improve the decor?

I steamed Shangai juicy dumplings for friends.

So, pretty much every stage is about killing your frinds.

Personally, I like the idea of using a wedding to shill Amway products.

Oh man, Turok 2... that game was surprisingly good.

What I take from them is this: The Swiss Guard are willing to wear those absolutely ridiculous outfits in public. They must be badass.

Everybody’s modernized... except ughead is still wearing a 1930s crown beanie.
Well... there is some precedent for them continuing into the 1960s...

Man, I hate it when it sands in the winter, and I have to wait for the roads to be cleared before I can drive. I hate shovelling sand in the driveway, too. THough I love making sandmen, and having sandball fights...

I joke about murdering customers, but I don’t really mean it!

So, uh, Pinkham’s law: Anybody tried to defend this as “appropriate?”

I’ve always said that Nutella should be a controlled substance, and now the violent crimes are starting to emerge.

Konami’s office being on fire would imply that there is something interesting going on there.

Would you believe I haven’t been back there?

So, to counter all of this aAAAAAAAND a story in the comments, let’s look at my awesome restaurant story of happiness and happy people this week:

Over the last seven days, I:
1. Went to a Shanghai Chinese place I love, which makes those awesome juicy dumplings. Found that they actually sell them to you in a freezer out…

So... my story of the Chinese restaurant where there were rusty saws on the walls, everything was covered in grease, and they forgot to cook the pork... would that count for this? or is its own very special “Restaurant Stories That Resemble The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” column?

So, Pinkham’s Law. Who shall be defended?

So, Buddy didn’t save bread.