I bet some Vikings fans feel pretty dumb about all their Bountygate hot takes these days

Wow, another promising young Cy Young winner for the Indians. All that's left for them to do now is trade him for some aging and/or second-tier prospects.

Pictured: The defense's key character witness—the guy that hands out the towels in the strip club mens room

Sounds like someone that's never eaten Popeye's (or even Bojangles)

Nope. MLB postseason is a coin flip. If you can't even win your own division you're not a dynasty. Signed, a bitter Nats fan.

You mean there are people that don't change the channel during that song?

Yup, thank God we wiped out all of the actual redskins from Washington years ago so we can get away with saying it now.

Nice signs, cow college.

Name something that would be embarrassing for a marathon runner to accidentally do during a race.

Manning: (sung to Nationwide jingle) Oh my God it's Brett Favre's rod!

They forgot the list of backup quarterbacks:

Let's be honest, I hate your taste in music and you hate my taste in music, so lets just agree to put hot slampieces up there every year.

Normally I would let this go. But I'm bitter and you're an annoying nerd and a liar, so I'm calling you out.

Idunno, is it really that "fluky" when a rookie pitcher with serious control issues throws a wild pitch in a playoff game, while all-star reliever Tyler Clippard rots in the bullpen? Or is it just awful awful managing?

Because RefGets isn't a word, silly. Please, leave the journalism to the professionals.

I still don't understand how new establishments like this pop up in NYC and can have blatant disregard for building and zoning codes. I mean I'm glad they do though. If 10 million people like to be folded up and stashed in a small city, more room for my fat ass.

Since this doesn't affect anyone's fantasy football team I don't expect anyone to pretend to care this time.

Surefire way to make a living being a sportswriter:
1. Be born somewhere other than Washington D.C.
2. Move to Washington D.C. after college because it has jobs.
3. Endear yourself to the other 10 million D.C. area transplants who hate the Redskins (but are fairweather Nats and Caps fans) by taking a shit on the…

I did notice they had Malcolm Glazer (RIP). Though now that I think about it, it could have been one of his sons. Not sure who the "acting" owner is.

"Information based" my ass