Well this is the least David Tracy headline that I’ve ever seen.

Every picture of this looks like a screencap from a particularly shoddy PS2 game.

Because I don’t want to live in a world ruled over by technocratic oligarchs who are weirdly worshiped by their customers.

Well, this is a new and novel way to get killed in a vehicle rollover.

This is definitely how I feel about any serious business luxury car. If it’s not at least moderately sporty, you’re really not meant to drive it yourself, you’re supposed to be driven in it.

All of the problems of an old Mercedes and all the problems of a stretched custom frame?

Presumably the capitol of Imaginationland.

The whole time I was reading this piece, I was wondering who in their right mind would buy state fair donuts from an intensely shady looking ancient Accord, then I saw the car is listed for sale in Wisconsin. So that checks out.

Hot take over here.

No thanks. Rowling has burned so many bridges I won’t interact with anything Potter related until she’s dead in the ground, and even then, it’s all tainted in my eyes.

So apparently it only took until 8:35am EST to get today’s worst take on Jalopnik. Well done!

Thank you, you beat me to it. I literally came here to ask how many aliens he punches in this series.

I know these are your words and not the sellers, but I really feel like he should lean into the Rivian comparisons here. It’s a truck! It has a bed, and seats! Just like a Rivian!

Oh, you can just declare yourself not legally liable? Why hadn’t anyone else ever thought of that?

I assume the panel gaps are now absolute canyons at this point. Less gaps and more “Areas where there are not panels.”

Bootlickers are out in force in the greys. Kindly leave them there, y’all.

It’s cool how that isn’t even vaguely comparable.