I gotta wonder what “specifically Black stories” Empire is telling because my Black ass sure as fuck doesn’t recognize most of the nonsense that goes down on that show.

Yeah, I’m too Black to chance that shit.

What about Handicapped Privilege? They get all those great parking spots! And LGTBQA Privilege? They get their own flag!

She’s right: weed is great for pain like cramps but I’m one of those who can’t smoke and then function like a normal person. I don't want to get high, I just want my uterus to stop trippin'.

But those call sheets favor White people, so they are totally fair and logical. The audience can relate better to a White person than they can a PoC. It’s just science! You can't cast a Black person in a period piece because they'd just be slaves, and you don't want that, right? Besides, roles should go to the best…

Because the hallmark of a great leader is never thinking about major political issues until someone with a tv camera asks you.

Da fuq...?

Why would you make fun of what someone orders at a restaurant? How old are you, Mindy?

Can we bring back apostroph’d words? Pretty please? English already doesn’t make any fucking sense anyway.

Same. I hate that many stores in my city have started charging for bags, because I usually have to walk out holding the merchandise and keep my receipt in plain view. I even wave it in the air at the security checkpoint if there is one. No one is gonna shoot me in the back of the head over this bottle of juice!

This is the darkest of the darkest timeline. The goatees are optional.

When a Muslim player prays, he gets fined. When a QB dances, he gets fined (and called a gang member). When a Black player writes a tribute to their dead father on their face, he gets fined.

I’d forgotten how punchable his face is.

“Can I get a room started for you?” is a standard sales/customer service question.

I'm trying to to remember the last time a Target worker asked me anything and failing. If that's really store policy then every Target I've been to is lacking.

I told a White woman purse clutcher that my shoes (Louboutins) cost more than the entire contents of her purse and she indignantly replied, “I’ll have you know I have a VISA with a $300 limit in here missy!” I laughed and told her she basically proved my point.

I know he thinks he’s flattering her (and making himself look like a victim of... Something...) but that really just reads as “I used a woman to help me heal just enough so that Id have the confidence to fuck other women again.”

I suggested that and Venice, and, Culver City and all she kept asking was “is it near the beach?”

Yes, she’s here on a student visa and she didn’t want to live in the dorms because it was too far from the beach. By “too far” I mean, a 20-30 minute bus ride.

Wow. I’ve seen those signs and never thought about that. Shit.