I am totally in favor of this. I hate sharing because my husband and I are totally two different sleepers. I like to listen to something while trying to fall asleep, he doesn’t. He likes being close and cuddling, and I don’t even like my feet touching each other. Plus, all the snoring from both of us and the dogs,…

Screw separate beds, let’s talk about totally different wings of a house.

Worth it for more of this....

appropriate nightmare before christmas watching time: oct 1 - dec 31

Can we just settle this right quick: is Nightmare Before Christmas a Halloween movie or a Christmas movie?

I for one welcome our robot feline overlords.

Same.

I already prefer dogs to people, so for sure I will one day prefer robots to people.

Thank you Hillary. This is a story that makes me smile because the badass women are getting shit done. And makes me furious that it has taken badass women who can get shit done, to get shit done because all the fucking men who run shit found a way to get all the weed smokers in jail but not the fucking rapists.

My Uber driver the other night, noticing that i was going home from the bars by myself, tried to convince me to go buy a book online that would teach me how to get any women to sleep with me.

I gave him and his stupid fucking newsboy cap 1 star.

Remember kids: Black Lives Matter is a bunch of whiners who are looking for reasons to be offended. The real oppression is a lack of Christmas iconography on your coffee cups.

I don’t know. They may have a point. Those cups don’t look anything like the ones Jesus drank his Gingerbread Lattes out of.

Apparently in Texas you do not have to identify yourself to the police unless you are under arrest. So if they arrested her for not identifying herself, they got the law backwards.

“Stop interviewing racists!” chanted the protesters across the street, so loudly and insistently the people holding the cameras started to look a little embarrassed.

Trump protesters chanting “USA” before the Trump supporters think of it—beautiful. Just....mmmmmuah. Beautiful.

Dear god, what must you have gone through in life to become a pro-Trump activist.

enlarged pee-spattered Sno-Cone and presidential candidate

I would have thought Colonel Sanders would be a breast man.