I wasn't even sure his mic was on.

Wait, "baby factory" is what I have on my resume. Should I update that? I've had this gig for the last 18 years, and since I'll probably have it for another 20 more (judging by my mom), I thought it best to highlight my longest-held position.

This is more "Get thee behind me, Satan," than "Oh girl." so I vote no shade.

You forgot to add "please" at the end. But, yeah. That's generally how I feel about every quote of hers that I run across. The words are all English, but their order makes no apparent sense.

My parents are black Southern Baptist and they're both pretty religious, and I had a good upbringing. I don't feel that their religion had any sort of detrimental effect on the rest of my life, and as a side bonus I'm super good at the Bible category on Jeopardy. I'm areligious now, but because I didn't believe it,…

He seemed like a normal-cute nice guy with a really overwhelming home life, and I genuinely felt bad that he had to put up with Kate. Then I realized that he was as bad as she is, and they actually deserved each other.

Way to stand up for a thing that literally everybody else supports.

He really did it for me right when they first got famous. Like a lot. But he and Kate both overdosed on hair products and whatnot, so that ended pretty quickly.

They had me at Jane Krakowski, with the water and the "off brand Kennedys."

I had to go to Wikipedia and check out that timeline when I saw this, because I thought the same thing. I wouldn't put anything past him, because he seems all-around awful.

He probably wouldn't have agreed that he was drunk (if she even mentioned it) until he ran into something. Most drunk drivers don't tend to think that they're impaired.

For Pete's sake, there are transcripts. And video. So she can't deny what she said. She should either just apologize or shut the hell up and keep being stupid. It's insulting for her to pretend that her remarks were misconstrued, when people are really just upset by what she actually said.

People only say things like that when they're confident that it's not true. She's really good at both, as evidenced by the fact that I first saw Tangled in the theatre with two 30-year-old men and not a child between us. Also, brb gotta go watch Tangled again.

Plus Julia Roberts is just a vile human being.

I once rode an elevator with Coco and Ice-T and it made my freaking life. My friend and I had to let them exit first so that we could laugh quietly but hysterically, like super crazy people. Also, Coco wore 7 inch lucite heels and looked so stereotypically Vegas that we realized she'd done it just to give us the…

Agreed. This is also how I feel about Josh Groban.

Kids are assholes, but at least this one is creative.

Red flag #1,302 - Multiple people involved in this situation named John Johnson.

This is probably the most American sentence that I've ever typed, but his story is so strange that I actually believe it. It's so easy to discount it that it's definitely true. There's going to be a lot of people revisiting this theory when Busch's "accidental death" happens sometime within the next 18 months.

Taken. Father of Fannings (Dakota and Elle) is pretty damn hot, not just celebrity-relative hot.