I had maple bacon flavored vodka last week, and it's still making me happy many days later. Maple bacon flavored vodka! Always lead with the story about bacon.

I just had this conversation with my dad. He said that he couldn't tell that she was unconscious in that first video. The fuck, dad? Did you think she was just enjoyed being dragged like some kid's favorite blankie? I also had to explain that her not leaving Rice probably has more to do with fearing for her life than…

I turned my diva cup inside out, so that the stem is now on the inside. Voila! All of the things that I used to find uncomfortable about it were immediately fixed. I wish I'd read that tip sooner.

Yes, that's a brand. There are several, but Diva was the first one I heard about when I initially learned about menstrual cups. There are several livejournals dedicated to helping women determine which cup would work best for them.

I don't get it. I always know that it's in when I go to pee or shower or whatever. I can see forgetting it overnight or something, but for two weeks. Did she just not wash her cooch?

The way the bride was clinging to that winner of a groom as they walked out of municipal court the next morning seems to indicate that she knew exactly who she was marrying and accepted him for the scum he is. I can understand wanting to wait until the cameras are elsewhere before totally blasting him, but why keep…

This guy could be his thinner, less smoldery brother.

For me, I think it's the 1-2-3 combination of his chin, nose, and hair. I just want to rub all of them all the time.

He could get it.

I'm fairly certain she looks terrible on purpose. If she was doing this accidentally, she should have lucked into at least a "not bad" by now.

I was surprised earlier this month to see several varieties of skin-lightening cream on sale here in NJ. And not in some specialty store, but on the "ethnic" aisle of Pathmark. This started out where black hair care products could be found, and grew to include beauty products with labels that are only in Spanish. I'd…

Try like hell to get him to see people of other races as actual people. Not as a monolithic group, but individuals like you or him. If that doesn't work, figure out why you're holding on to this relationship, and then how to let it go. Associating with people like this is bad for you. While you're trying to bring him…

I'm the same (but 30s). I was super exited for a second, but then remembered that I'm generally Florida-averse. I don't know that the promise of plentiful men and no state income tax can make up for the Floridaness of it all.

Every time I have to go to Florida, I'm amused to see that much stupid up close, and then thankful that I get to return home to less amusing but also less insane people. I've never had to stay in Florida longer than a week, and I'm not sure how much more of it I could take. After a while, it stops being funny and it…

How to Grin Like a Buffoon and Get Paid Far Too Much Money for It by Nick Swisher

I love how Tig Notaro ends the story by saying that she ran into Taylor Dayne about a hundred other times in between the meetings that she directly referenced. Now I feel cheated because I didn't see Taylor Dayne when I was in Los Angeles and I haven't run into her in New York yet, either.

On the internet, everybody hates everything.

Bonus points for Chris Pratt not having soulless, dead eyes like Josh Hutcherson. Uggh. That dude's gaze gives me the shivers, and not in a good way.

Maybe they're the only people who could tolerate/love one another and they'll actually stay together until one or the other them reaches critical levels of smug and shuffles off this mortal coil.

You guys, the eventual Baldwin divorce is going to be so so so so great. They're both terrible, and I bet that it will be glorious when their combined powers of Smug and Vitriol are aimed at each other.