She probably don't bore people who share her interests. She just needs to stop hanging out with people who only want to party or be wild. Her idea of fun (chilling with friends, looking at antiques, traveling) is a lot closer to mine than getting trashed and partying all the time, but I can see how people who aren't…

"That would be up the butt, Bob."

It's probably relevant.

I will never stop loving that nickname.

Why is my favorite celebrity conspiracy theory never mentioned: that Rob Thomas and Tom Cruise had an affair? I love Rob Thomas and loathe Tom Cruise, but would definitely think better of Tiny Tommy if he could actually pull somebody as awesome as Rob Thomas.

I graduated from this high school in the 90s, and we never had senior class pranks. There was a program where, if you had good enough grades toward the end of your senior year, you agreed to volunteer for an organization or business (the rules were ridiculously flexible) and basically you never had to go to school…

Tea flavored ice cream! I believe I had the Earl Grey.

Whoa. My friends and I stumbled into their tearoom (we knew that they had one, but we collectively have no sense of direction whatsoever and only get anywhere by accident) and never wanted to leave. Their teas AND ICE CREAMS are top notch, and the place smells like heaven. I'm not minding permawinter as much as I…

Harney & Sons teas are great. They let me drink tea like a sophisticated adult, i.e. without sugar, instead of looking like the sugar-lover that I am.

20. 20! This must be what drugs do to you.

Nope. Once I realized that we were each not what the other person needed to be functional and happy, I moved on. I really like being who I am, and make no apologies for my skin color. Anybody who attaches extra baggage and meaning to the color of my skin isn't for me.

Black girl here. For years I dated a guy who was also not white, but I didn't know until we'd been together for a while that he was not really that okay with black people in general. He viewed me as somehow exceptional, and it made me sick inside to know that he felt that black people had to prove themselves to him,…

If my death glare doesn't keep them away, my "It's none of your business what I choose to do with my body," always discourages them from trying to hand me anything.

I was in middle school at the time and was shattered when he up and died on Teddy. I was waaaaay too invested in that relationship.

I keep getting home and car insurance letters from insurance agents. I live in an apartment and do not drive. Targeted demographic fail.

I still own the undies that I wore to prom. In 1999. They've never been for sexytimes, so that's not an issue, but if showed them to somebody who didn't know that they're 15 years old, that person would never guess. I don't know what kind of magic elixir Hanes dip their undies in, but they've barely even faded…

My friends and I went drunk makeup shopping (it's our thing), and I tried on purple lipstick to make us laugh. I put it on and whoa! It actually looked amazing on. I never would have guessed, but I bought it, and didn't end up regretting it when I'd sobered up. Purple lipstick ftw!

Duh, a woman's personal accomplishments are never as important as tying her existence to some penis. Is she a daughter (came out of penis)? Girlfriend (has sex with penis)? Fiancee ("flaunts" diamond, has sex with penis)? Wife ("flaunts" two rings, maybe has sex with penis). Ex-wife (sold the rings, has no more legal…

That joke would be infinitely more amusing if they'd actually lost yesterday.

Hey, people are still angry about everything having to do with Michael Vick. He sucks, and we shouldn't forget that. Let's not forget that Josh Lueke is also awful.