A few months ago I would have insisted on Onion Joe Biden, but real Joe Biden's been cracking me up pretty hard lately, too.

But she'd probably date a photographer's 18 year old assistant...

If Rutgers goes ahead and hires him, I'll have another reason to say no every year when some poor freshman calls and asks me to donate to that school (even though I always ask them to take me off the list).

She's of Egyptian descent, and would generally be considered Middle Eastern or Arab before black. All the Middle Easterners I know identify as white, irrespective of skin color.

Right? I unapologetically love that soundtrack (and the movie, but I've always had it bad for Gabriel Mann).

Right? This second James Blake should just do what other famous people do when somebody already has their name and make a stage name.

Is that real? It looks 'shopped. I don't care about Daniel Radcliffe and I've never been into Harry Potter, so it's not like I need for him to look a certain way, but his hair is just a gigantic NO.

Agreed. They're basically the same age. In fact, I feel like Lorde is too mature to date a high school student, so at this point she may actually be older than T Swizzle.

I also know a fair number of married women who don't wear rings. I don't like anything that perpetuates the idea that one's relationship is somehow less legitimate than others due to a lack of jewelry.

Definitely didn't want the attention, although it was impossible to convince the pushy yahoos of this fact.

From my experience, wearing an engagement ring nets a woman MORE attention. It's like you're a challenge, but even more tempting, because you haven't sealed the deal yet.

Right? Engagement rings are a scam. Skip em entirely.

Love triangle gone wrong. My money is on the "colleague" who discovered them.

You guys, I just found my wedding outfit.

My friend's wedding photos are unfortunate, in that high quality professional photography really captures how much more her husband resembles her than her actual brother does. Hair: same shade. Smiles: identical. When we used to hang out with the married couple, my ex would refer to it as hanging out with the…

I heard this song playing in a bar and had to pull up YouTube my phone to explain to my friends why I'd inmediately lost my shit.

I'm glad to hear this. I can't get Happy out of my head right now, and I need for my earworms to be by people who I don't hate.

You, Kant, Always Get What You Want.

I'm the same way. I also feel that it's easier not to mention that I like children, because then people are like, "Oh, okay," as if they suddenly understand who I am. Being in charge at my job and having a master's degree puts me in quandary territory, but the fact that I like stereotypically feminine things, such as…

I know a lot of people who went to private schools and weren't rich. There are such things as scholarships, grants, and rich uncles.