Thank you!

Jeb Bush, ladies and gentlemen.

I read that same thing, and my take-away was that Sarah Palin wasn’t too concerned if her Down’s Syndrome baby died in childbirth (while on a plane) because her pro-life credentials would still be intact.

I gave up booze for nine monthes gestating my kids, there’s no way in hell I’d jam a speaker up my hoo-hah just so those little jerks can listen to ‘Baby Mozart.’

Also would do, and when his songs first hit, I thought for like, two months that his name was “Jay Sahnderulo,” because I had only ever heard him sing it.

This. Adultery is not neccesarily a deal breaker for me, and I’d want to go to counseling and work in why it happened, and see if we could work past it.

“Farrah Abraham called her fellow teen moms ‘losers’ after they were caught on video calling her a ‘hoe bag.’”

Oh, for sure. I don’t care if a guy has never seen the inside of a gym, as long as there is a basic level of effort and self-care going on. Pre-buff ‘Parks and Rec’ Chris Pratt was sexy AF.

I bet Jeffery Wells also constantly complains that women only date assholes, where “assholes” = “decent looking guy who showered, shaved, hit the gym today and ironed his shirt before he left the house.”

It’s truly unfortunate that Jessie Spano never overcame that addiction to No-Doze. She had so much promise, and look where she ended up.

Nope. Actual lady with ladyparts here, and I loathe that saccharine song, and its “emotional abuse is twee and adorable!” lyrics.

“I guess I’ll just tell her about Santa, then.”

On a positive note, the Oklahoma City Police Department’s statement on Facebook:

I certainly hope so. It would be in no way remotely funny or even grimly satisfying if one of these patriots got shot by someone doing exactly what they advocate for in the middle of this asinine demonstration.

Weird, you’d think they’d be more worried about their protest being misunderstood by one of those “good guys with a gun,” we’re always hearing about. I mean, those are real and totally do happen, right?

“Hey, you guys, it’s cool. I mean, we’re all kinda rape-y.”

Man, I think I’d be tempted to cut my hair, change my name, move away and try and get a job in retail, or as a secretary somewhere. Just basically start over in life.

A fetus in a jar? I suppose that could count as a receipt....

On behalf of myself, and other bar-hopping, period-having members of society, I thank you for this.

Wow.