For real. If she'd told him truthfully that she'd rather shove needles in her eyes than sit through yet another session of Grade-D community theater pretending to be the Groundlings, he'd have called her a castrating bitch who never supports his dreams.

LiesToldByFemales: "Santa is not going to bring you any presents if you don't finish those vegetables."

Oh, God, this is a priceless opportunity to sit close to him, well within his range of eyesight. And then just look at him like he tracked dog shit in or has a conjoined twin growing out of his head. Look away when he catches you. Repeat several more times, making sure that he 'catches' you staring at him, and then…

There are very few kinds of outing I can get behind. This one of them.

I find that Lily Allen quote more sad than infuriating, I guess. There's a pathos in someone so talented craving approval so much that she has to tell herself that other women are "gross." It sounds like the only woman being horrible to Lily Allen is herself.

Oh fuck me, I'm Team Miley.

Is he trolling? Sure.

Wait - someone who promotes a theology of keeping women constantly pregnant turns out to be a lecherous creep?!

Ugh. Of course he wore Axe.

OHMYGOD, "Cocksman" is the most irritating word in the English language. It's worse than "Libary," "Irregardless," and "Feminazi." Hearing it makes my vagina slam shut like the prison door sound effect at the end of the Law & Order opening theme.

To LW3 - Insta-kid is not a marriage death knell. There are a number of blended families out there who are happy and going strong. The little resplendent.bastards love their stepdad. I love little resplendent.stepson. It's challenging, but it's not the Poison Pill your friend seems to think it is. Honestly, I would…

I am Jack's Complete Lack of Surprise.

Marry me.

"Hairstyle/Clothes/Make-up of the moment? Not for Michelle!"

And, as OscarsOnlyOstrich pointed out, booze. Lots of booze.

The potluck would mostly be for novelty nibbling and gagging. You'd have to have a few pizzas on hand for actual sustenance, lest guests resort to cannibalism.

Oh, you'd need booze to choke the food down.

I am now pondering how to trick my friends into an 'Incredible, Inedible '50's Dinner Party', because this looks like gross, horrible fun.

Lol, you know what? I'll own it - I'm guilty of straight girl shaming. You've called me out on behalf of the straight, 20-something women of the world who kiss each other in bars. Truly, you are doing the Lord's work.

Aww, are straight girls in their twenties still kissing each other in public in a desperate bid for attention and approval?