[gets flooded with links to this video]
[switches phone off for a couple of days]

Russian online propaganda machine descending upon this article in 3, 2, 1....

Россия, soon.

Giving yourself the license to do awful things just because everyone is watching you and keeps calling you out on it is a flawed argument since it neglects the fact that fatigue will eventually set in and people will stop watching you.

This misunderstanding could have been avoided if only they had Stephen A. Smith on hand to translate.

Take it easy Tom.

I am of Polish descent and I am quite offended by how this video portrays my people as hoologans. Everything was calm and orderly until someone started a rumour that there was a black guy in the stands.

Jerry Jones was into his 127th tweet before he realised this wasn’t for a Georgian bride.

Dear Basketball,

We should try to get him in @okcthunder

He’s resigned himself to trivial truths as he’s never going to be known for solid fibs.

Seems like a good time to drop an even better Cup goal of his; the ‘Maradona’ goal against Getafe as a fresh-faced 19-year-old. He sure likes to score wonder-goals in the this competition.

“MORONS! How many times do we have to go over this? When they get a foul, we ALL sip water!”

This will hardly get any attention in Chicago I bet. They watch a bore get intercepted all the time there.

A circle within a what?

The Clippers’ HGH guy is called Incorporating Black?

PREPARE YOURSELF FOR MY SCORTCHING TAEK!!1!

Do you not live near a Planned Parenthood?

This is Utah's new offensive scheme where the driving player gently reminds the defender that Shaq is getting his own sitcom, upon which he starts spasming uncontrollably.

Eriksson: [sheds single tear]