He's really trying to keep his numbers down to the 14, 15, 16 area, and I want him up in the 18, 19 area.

I love it so much when y'all so desperately want something to be racist and then it just isn't.

Dammit Shep, not right now okay?

That was one top-notch waste of 57 seconds. Even on a boring internet day like today.

Raysism Wrote a Comment. Try to Laugh.

Your getting to worked up over nothing.

WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE

Sometimes I wonder if we are the laughing stock of other inhabited planets and galaxies the same way North Korea is the laughing stock of Earth.

Weird. Usually birds fans are flipping hamburgers.

This DeMarcus Ware Sack Is The Slickest Play Of The Year

Blessing in disguise for United—Rooney misses the upcoming Everton and Chelsea matches, and the team won't be so unbalanced. (And no, this isn't a fat joke about Wayne Rooney.) (Okay, it is.)

As opposed to the NFL where they wear spandex capri pants?? Run along.

He's still as immature as he was at age 16. How desperate does a team have to be to name him captain?

Are you serious? This is the best part of the entire clip. He changed his mind after getting a closer look and lays into the player, something commentators almost never do. It's what everyone is thinking and he spares no mercy. I love it.

It was actually Shaw, and it was a handball by Valencia. It also just means that it'll be Mata/RVP/Falcao for the next 3 games, so a better outcome in the end. Just keep pretending like you know what you're talking about.

"Just look at that heel and tell me it's not a fraud!"

For it to be a 2, it would have to be both upside down and inverted. Y'know, like Darren Rovell's head relative to his ass.

Is this where you argue she can't make her own decisions rationally because she was the victim of domestic abuse once?

Because we make jokes in the comments section every day about these same topics; Deadspin as an entity is the interplay between the bloggers and the readers/commentors. Ipso facto, Deadspin talking about how it is inappropriate to crack wise on the subject while we actively crack wise is ironic.

That this is being posted on Deadspin is both essential and ironic.