Shouldn’t there be a porn olympics, either in addition to, or maybe instead of, an awards event? I mean what exactly are the objective guidelines in the Best Double Penetration Award? Wouldn’t feats of strength and endurance be just as (or more) impressive?

Aye, then.

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose: but you can't pick your friend's nose. Found that out the hard way.

Is it, though?

Classic Cory.

That Cory, he’s a cyber-squatting genius!

There’s a couple starting around the 40 second mark (she’s in a checked dress), and it’s hard not to see a little Kendrick Lamar in the dude’s bodywork. I wish I could dance :(

Atlanta really keeping it close; is today the day Carolina finally falls to 13 and 2?

IT’S JUST THE TV GRAMPA ;)

You’d think “All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth” would be the go-to holiday hockey fight song, but here we are. God bleth uth, everyone.

After all that and they’re playing at Chop Suey? That’s kind of funny.

Hilarious. Global anticipation is breaking minds.

“Black guy”

Uh huh, who should’ve been casted in his stead?

What a bizarre gripe.

I'm sure Maria Callas would've killed for a bullhorn, grampa.

Put women in charge of porn, and everyone wins. Just like most other aspects of society.

“Story time is over, children. Now let’s practice field stripping our AR-15’s. Does everyone have their blindfold?”

“Woof, woof-woof-woof! I lost a drunk bet!”

Martin Shkreli bought it all up, and is willing to let you have it back. But you will pay. Oh, how you all. will. pay.