I will not be swayed by Big Syrup Trap.

French Toast is the superior breaded breakfast product.  But, and I know this is considered a hot taek, pancakes > waffles.  

I’ll bet 99% of the injuries on this list were directly preceded by someone yelling “HEY, CHECK THIS OUT!”

*bookmarks this for later reference

• FELL OFF TOILET, FELL ONTO A MOUSE TRAP, TRAP CLOSED ON PENIS

announced in early November, then unannounced two days later, and finally un-unannounced after that

I judge my year based on whether or not I appear on this list. I do not, so my year was good.

Just because you have personally grown as a person in that time doesn’t mean that he has, don’t use your anecdotal evidence to try to give him an out. Unless he has actually shown growth or actually apologized for this incident then it doesn’t mean anything and just because a person is good in one area doesn’t excuse…

Or stand-up comedians will joke about ANYTHING, especially with one another because people in that line of work don’t actually believe that hardly anything is actually off limits. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Imagine if a genie gave you the option to either be able to dunk a basketball or suck your own cock when you were 14. Talk about a Sophie’s Choice...

If you remember the name of a curler, you are by definition a huge curling fan.

Im 100% in favor of players protesting systemic racism, but this is a weird level of transparency regarding a player who batted around .180 last year and pulled a gun on a delivery girl

Tell them to make sure they have strong reading comprehension because it will be helpful in all aspects of life.

Boras is pissed because he weaponizes secrecy. His trademark is the rumored “mystery team” that gets a team to bid against itself. I doubt this affects their relationship much anyway. If a player says he wants to play in DC or says he will take the highest offer and Washington makes that offer, it is the agent’s legal…

I *did* grow up watching him play.

Some knob named Gimelstob “laid hands” on paddle tennis players, has been pegged by Kris Thabit, dressed up as Maverick to commit assault...

I once caught my son’s pacifier before it hit the floor of a Walmart bathroom. His face hit it pretty hard, but the pacifier stayed clean.

It’s like the still took a picture of everyone’s soul, right down to Kellerman’s lingering self-doubt about his own life choices.

Thank god there are crazy, enraged white guys defending A&M’s football honor. That was one thing the school was lacking before Jimbo showed up with his family.