If I had all of those things taken care of, I think I'd be cool with 60% taxes.

Cue the heavy use of my banhammer. I'm not playing any of that Ayn Rand shit.

It seems to be working a hell of a lot better in Denmark than our system is here. People who go on about the evils of unions are ignoring the fact that the only thing worse than having strong unions is what happens when you don't have them.

Cue the Libertarians BarkingMadFuckingIdiots descending on this post to explain all the reasons why paying people a wage that they can actually live on is a bad thing, and how if you pretend that the problems that you are trying to solve aren't actually problems at all (and completely ignore reality as a whole), the…

"Doomed Eater doesn't really work though"

Gluten frees!

Not from a restaurant, but from Williams-Sonoma (which some customers seem to think is an all-you-can-eat buffet):

And if he uses it and then you perform oral sex on him (which I assume was the plan based on the throat spray) will it make your tonge all stiff?

Clever. I was trying to imagine some way you could get high off eggshells (teenagers!)

I predict that "He save bread" will become the new "monogrammed coffee thermoses."

May this become the rallying cry of all plebes* who still eat gluten: I SAVE BREAD!**

"Yes, and I like my coffee like I like my men." The waiter, without changing his expression said, "I'm very sorry, madam, but we don't have any gay coffee."

I like how people w/ Ebola fear seem to think they are "special enough" to catch a disease that only a handful ppl will ever come into contact with (all mostly medical professionals). People with Ebola are not walking around Walmart and Golden Corral, they literally have nothing to fear.

ffs, #RepealCommonCOLD

I'd Taps that.

was this the episode where Cosby tried to rape the cable guy?

what is not to love about oniony beef broth topped with a giant crouton AND golden-brown melted cheese? nothing, that is what.

i know what you mean! i'm gallbladder-less and french onion seems to be the one food that my body rebels against. BUT ITS WORTH IT!

Mine was Village Inn... then I moved to a state with no Village Inn so now I gotta be careful with my feelings.

Apparently I said "scrabbled" eggs so now I'm just imagining eggs with scrabble pieces in them. Jesus I need sleep