but then you're supporting the Israeli occupation of Gaaza. Basically, there's no winning the consumer choice game.

I will let go of my Diet Coke when it is wrenched from my cold, dead, hands after I die of aspartame-induced diabetes. The fact that it appears to be déclassé now just strenghtens my resolve. Plus, I deserve at least one vice.

Pepsi drinkers are terrible people with terrible tastes.

I'm depressed that Fifi probably has better credit than I do.

You should change your name to fartsonly1.

At 18 I moved from my grocery store's cash registers to the bakery/deli. Well one lovely summer night we have a line of people needing their bologna thin sliced. Storms were forecasted, and a tornado watch. The office calls all employees to pick up the intercom, we've got a tornado warning, funnel sighted. Told to…

Omg, that is amazing. Maybe Fifi was one of those dogs that old rich ladies leave all their money to after they die.

Me? I make a $40 tip on a $90 check. Coworkers? Rake in lots of lovely YOU SHALL BURN IN HELL pamphlets.

Fluffy black pocket puppy for the win!

don't worry, i'm sure the comments will provide.

Even Guy Fieri found Beast's ambience and aesthetic "somewhat overstated and altogether forced on the diner."

You wouldn't be able to call him flush with cash.

True, but we don't have to fight a heavily-armed spider off to get to it here.

MSF (Doctors Without Borders) is awesome. Give them all the moneys. Seriously. They do a huge amount of their work in places that most charities are afraid to even set up camp. If you want to give money to help fight Ebola, give it to MSF. They will save lives.

Were you serious? Was there really no chance in..... Hile?

A cop working at a Burger King? That's quite a whopper.

Congratulations, you win the award for "most pointless, pedantic, and incorrect correction in the history of Kitchenette." Your parents must be proud.

Like every other server, I have stories galore. My favorite still is the customer who drank his finger bowl (a lovingly prepared bowl of hot water with fancy schmancy interlocked lemon wedges at the bottom and a nice hot towel on the side) — I just asked him if the soup was good, to which he replied "ok, but it was a…

I once overheard a customer ask the waiter if the restaurant used "organic salt".