An engagement gift AND a shower gift? AND and bachelorette party gift?? And she still expected a wedding gift enough to scold you a little about it over a group text?? Nope. That is crazy rude. I’m sure the towels you got her were super nice, but I still hope they went all scratchy and chafed her up big time.

Those posters look super fun! Definitely worth framing and keeping forever.

You know what Hasselbeck, I’M waging a war on Christmas. Fuck that holiday. It’s August and and we don’t need to talk about it. Pretty soon in retail world it’s going to be ALL CHRI$TMA$ ALL THE TIME!!! and there is no need to pick away at my summer with your “oh nos Christmas is being ruined by people” bullshit. How…

The last picture is not a good angle for that particular eye makeup choice.

I mean, who needs to leave their job with some dignity anyway right? It should be a total surprise before security escorts you to the exit like you’ve been caught shoplifting.

I am too old to sleep on a futon, but unfortunately a futon is all I’ve got right now. It’s not even one of the nicer Ikea ones either; it’s a cheap piece of shit from Walmart. Sorry back, neck, and shoulders :(

If I am still out at 1am, it means I am looking for food on my way home from being out, not finding a new thing to start doing. I am done being social, I am patting myself on the back for being out among people instead of remaining holed up in my apartment, and now I am rewarding myself with a late night burrito or…

Bahahaha! Nude briefs are the best way to look an almost naked dude look like a Ken doll with no pants. Like, are you wearing thin white pants that might be see through? No? Then there is no reason for nude underpants.

It’s worse than “ointment” and worse than “moist”

Animal pieces aren’t going to cure you, so just leave them on the animals please!

I love how they interpret that passage to mean eat all of the animals.

That’s not even good for the kid! It’s rude and unhealthy and super gross. Gagging right now!

Moose always got WAY too angry when Midge spoke to other guys. Like, just asking about homework assignments even, he would threaten to beat the shit out of the guy she was speaking to. That is not a healthy relationship. Poor Midge :(

The Goonies. Technically I have probably watched the whole thing by catching different parts of it on TV or whatever, but I have never sat through the whole thing and I never will because that movie is terrible. It’s all kids yelling and mugging for the camera. I didn’t even like it when I was a kid, and there’s no…

You don’t give anything to a kid making that much of a fuss over it! They learn from that shit! They learn that whining = success. That is the worst lesson to teach a child.

GOD you can’t just fork over something with great sentimental value to some acquaintance kid? Jeeze!

If I remember the 90s right, it will have something to do with blue raspberry flavour.

Ugh the nails! You know your porn isn’t doing the job when your first though it “ouch! that’s gotta hurt!” and “I hope you have a nail brush for afterwards ‘cause just rinsing your hands off with a bit of soad and water ain’t going to cut it”

Yeah he pretty much is. He got a little restless in his 40s and started taking an interest in some of the younger women at his workplace, figured he could do better. The jury is out on that one. His parents have never liked his wife, so she had that against her. I always thought she was nice. That whole branch of the…

One of my cousins did that with the joint account he shared with his now ex-wife. After 20 years of marriage, she came home from a business trip to find he had moved out of their house, took the newer car, and took his pick of their furniture; he also took a huge chunk of the money from their joint account. When my…