Like, I do not want paper cuts on my vagina/bum because of some cheap-ass toilet paper that is actually just wax paper in disguise. Those areas are sensitive!

Poor grooms :(

I thought they were inmates of other prisons that were closed down like Litchfield would have been.

I did appreciate Red’s diplomatic answer when Healy asks her if she thinks he is bad at his job. Like, the answer is a resounding “Yes, you are bad at your job, and you’re actually a pretty bad person in general” That’s what I said to my computer anyway. He was extra skin-crawlingly terrible this season.

You do what you need to do to survive. Right now, you need to wait and there is nothing wrong with that. I’m sorry your parents wouldn’t be supportive of you. It’s been funny to laugh at the people clutching their pearls and freaking out over something that is actually very positive, but the reality is that those…

I am drinking the same thing! Wish I had had the foresight to stick mine in the freezer though. Wine slushie sounds deliciously refreshing.

Grieving over a dying pet is a natural part of having a pet. You love them, and even though you know they have to go, it still feels too soon. It always feels too soon. If you have a friend who has a dog, maybe ask if you can have a play date with their dog? I spent some time with my friend’s big lovable slob of a…

That’s still a lot though. A little goes a long way.

This is the best answer. Troll her a little, make an evening out of it.

Like, why is that even an option for a group activity?

I wouldn’t want a whole bunch of strangers watching me in a moment of genuine terror that turns out to be nothing but a mean joke either.

Right? This is easily the dumbest one. That is logic with a bag of Skittles, not something like human rights.

Maybe they think it’s a contest? Gay marriage v. Straight marriage: whoever has the most married couples wins two t shirts and a garbage bag full of gold stars!

Oh DON’T poop in the water. Jeezus, I had that all mixed up. No wonder I don’t have any friends!

I would not cross the park by my house if they had the huge municipal lawn tractors out after that movie.

Put that durable plaid skirt and suit jacket combo in your store Abercrombie, and I will buy it. I don’t hunt, but I do love a brisk autumn hike in shitty weather.

I would wear the hell out of this.

They need to start raising bigger class pets.

At the fish farm he is just going to die an anonymous death anyway, on the journey to be somebody else’s dinner, so the kids might as well eat him and appreciate the fish he was in life.

Sparkle crotch!