All I can say is I had better get a goddamn hover board before all these artificial wombs become available to the general public, or I will be pretty darn steamed with the future!

We should go back to deciding these kinds of things by goat entrails or the ramblings of an oracle.

I am going to send my mum a link to that picture of Steve McQueen, because it’s almost mother’s day and that would be so much nicer for her than flowers :)

Masturbation for thirty years? Like, for thirty years straight or that’s how much time I get locked up for if I masturbate? Tobacco and masturbation?? Suppressed masturbation??? Good lord, there is just no right way to masturbate at the end of the 19th century!

My mum would read my diary and get pissed off if I wrote something mean about her or one of my sisters or a teacher, etc. I was not a terribly rebellious kid; it was so obvious that I wasn’t going to parties or drinking or anything, but she read that damn thing anyway just to be nosy. Once I figured out what she was…

Part of me thinks it’s really cool, but part of me is also really creeped out by those legs dangling off of it.

I think SJP tries too hard for this particular event. Didn’t she wear some kind of weird theme hat last year too?

Those are the wrong earrings for that dress. Possibly they are the wrong earrings for any dress. Do you even need dangling earrings while wearing a dress with linebacker shoulder pads? No. No you do not.

I loved her dress from the back, but the front just reminds me of barnacles. Fancy barnacles, but barnacles none the less.

Yeah I know :)

Those boxes look just like the real thing (70% croakoa? I died). As a Harry Potter fan, I am very jealous.

Fajita day is supposed to be a happy day, not something to dread!

But like, with new meat.

Jesus, they’re lucky some kids didn’t wind up in the hospital with serious food poisoning. You don’t want to mess around with ANY food that smells bad, but especially not meat!

He has lived long enough to already own a full set of flatware with fancy flatware box.

I would love this, because I love gift baskets filled with fancy food. Little tiny jars of jam make me happy just looking at them, I have no idea why but they do. Plus at the end of it all, free basket! I would hate to share all those cheeses with a partner, but I suppose that’s what marriage is about :(

Snooze alarm addict

Eeew! Nope. No thanks. Looking for somebody to fuck the quiet right out of me, just in case.

Lol. I think the rule is, if you didn’t have sex on an air mattress that was slowly losing air, then you didn’t really have sex on an air mattress.

I would appreciate if some of the words were stains; like amidst the “charming” and “loyal” bullshit you have words like “crumbs” “coffee” “lip stick smudge”. I think that would really speak to slobs like me.