The Downtown Dogs Food Truck, in fact. Better still? The hotdog they got is called the "Trailer Trash."

I think what people really mean is "my child is too young to have adopted my fears, insecurities, and xenophobia in a durable way." The problem with kids is that they tend to accept the reality presented to them, and if you talk to them at too young an age, they are in danger of being accepting.

C'est quoi ca, cette "struggle twerk?"

word. i read that last line and was like, i'm sorry gwyneth, did you just try to "must be nice" me? because you and me, we're about to have a PROBLEM.

Look, I don't want to go perpetuating 1945 gender stereotypes, but I do make a LOT of assumptions with regard to lunch.

LADIES: anyone else out there go through a phase in their early-mid thirties of not tolerating red wine? like instant headaches or crazy (beyond what would be ordinary) hangovers, or even a case of the immediate voms? this is happening to me, been about a year now, and it happened to my older sister for a couple…

And he shares his Bugles!

I thought this same exact thing, like the curtain is being pulled back on what Kris Jenner has been doing to/with/for her daughters for many, many years. This would be somehow less disturbing to me if it were just Kim, like doing her thing and choosing her choice. But the fact that Kris is always sort of ghoulishly…

When I look at him, all I can see is Sophie the Giraffe. Any other parents out there feel me on this? Those cold dead eyes? Once you see it you can never unsee it...

being a native herself, the baby understood.

Alternate title: Man Who Is Convinced He is Not the Problem Describes Multiple Scenarios in Which He is the Problem.

i believe the technical term for it is "balkan red."

But but but ... you're not grey. Do you think you're grey? You're not grey!

i'm seriously having anxiety that netflix will crash from traffic and the pizza places will be backed up with a 3 hour wait time. because real talk? this is the valentines plan for almost every single couple i know.

I mean, it can be tasty, but IT'S A CASSEROLE.

This shit right here? This is the truest shit I've read all day.

oh, okay, i see what you're doing there, shia. publicly expressing yourself exclusively through plagiarized text and PR disobedience as a form of performance art? while also plagiarizing the entire "PR disobedience as performance art" trope? it's so TRANSGRESSIVE. so META. so SMART and IMPORTANT, and definitely…

I came here to say EXACTLY THAT. His completely inhuman response to the original accusation, as well as his cavalier, near mocking tone pertaining to the entire matter of sexual molestation, is a far more damning indictment than anything else out there.

agreed. i actually really like her backyard sessions (