I honestly love these reviews, but it’s just hilarious to me that the beer reviewed on the Concourse costs more than the food reviewed on the Concourse.

COPS but for law-abiding citizens

#not all #puddin pops

What about racism?

If black #thugs would just pull up their #pants then people of all races could enjoy ten dollar slices of chain #pizza and watch #baseball, which black people don’t play because their #absent fathers don’t teach them #work ethic.

“Hi, nice to meet you. So when are you due?”

He certainly would have been tying harder.

Well, I have my own office...

That’s a solid plan. I like to feel old by sleeping with one woman in her mid-thirties about four or five times a year, so the jizz euphemisms are a counterbalancing act.

I’m in my thirties, but if I’ve learned one lesson in life, it’s that the day you stop turning innocent word combinations into euphemisms for jizz is the day you stop dreaming and your soul dies.

“Bone broth” is soup. It is soup and not some other, different thing. It is not new or fancy. It is not even a new kind of soup. It is soup. “Bone broth” and “soup” are synonyms.

Goodell > Pope Francis

Do they give discounts on parentheses?

I thought so too, he only missed one:

Oh man. That’s...

In that case it was last fall. I’m 37 years old and can’t remember ever misjudging what felt to be a sure-fire, no-doubt fart before. Fortunately I was home alone at the time, but I’ve been questioning everything I know about my own biology ever since.

Like, full-blown shit? Or does unintentional sharting count?

.

I read it correctly and expected a totally different video.

This is the correct answer.