Not being able to let go of the smallest thing, suggesting his opponents are mentally unstable, and conspicuous files of paper that no one gets to see? Dolan 2024!

I hope someone bodyslams Dolan from space into the core of the goddamn earth.

The sooner people realize McCarthy is in the top 5 of the funniest people who ever lived ever the better off we’ll all be.

White on white crime.

Autoplay video that doesn’t even have the punch.

that’ll be some next level teabagging right there

No love for the Royal Rumble tonight? The last two have been awful, but they’ve amped up the star power in this one (Brock, Goldberg, Taker in his first rumble in 8 years) while keeping Roman Reigns and his shitty cardio out of it, plus Styles v Cena which always brings the goods.

Kids these days are so soft. Back in my day, you weren’t done in Oregon until you died of dysentery.

Just remember this whole downward spiral started when OBJ got on that boat.

I have nothing but respect for The Whites, even though many of them are addicted to opiates and are too lazy to get a job! I have some Whites in my family, they are good people, hard working, respectful! If all The Whites where like The Whites I know, they would be happier.

• HAD PENIS SURGERY LAST WEEK, SKIN GLUE STUCK TO DIAPER AND CAME OFF TODAY CAUSING UNCONTROLLABLE PENILE BLEEDING

The interesting thing is this was just one guy.

Your mom

Stephanie McMahon already putting her on speed dial.

Hey Tom,

Can’t wait for the breakup note we’ll get after four years of Joakim Noah

Gotta wonder what’s goink through Phil’s head.

Where have I seen that font before?

Ex-Gawker writer Jay Hathaway tells me this is actually Amanda’s own letterman’s jacket from her high school in suburban Seattle. The more you know.