I wanted the success perm to be a fixture of future episodes! So funny!

The date rape talk was pretty much amazing. Jessica Huang has officially replaced that Claire Huxtable hole in my heart.

You should watch this show for the sole reason of Constance Wu and her character Jessica Huang.

Filed to: BREAST INTENTIONS

I feel pretty proud.

That is the greatest headline of all time, Madeleine.

I didn't tip this one, but I'm just sharing it here for the lulz. A 15 year old high school girl in Quebec was strip searched by her principal under suspicion of possessing drugs (there were none) and Quebec's Education Minister said that was okay. Then a day later he said maybe it wasn't okay after it was pointed out…

Probably no one cares, but I found this story weird.

NO ONE RESPONDED TO MY TIP ABOUT A GEORGIA STATE REPRESENTATIVE WHO WANTS GEORGIA TO TAKE THE LEAD ON MIXING HUMAN EMBRYOS WITH JELLYFISH DNA IN ORDER TO PREVENT THE CREATION OF DARK, GLOW IN THE DARK HUMANS. Caps necessary.

OMG, Dude does not understand what is up. The crusaders burned through swaths of Europe, killing thousands on their way to the Holy Land, where they destroyed some of the most progressive cities in the world at the time. The crusaders and ISIS are the same: they are filled with hate, violence, and a wish to see the…

Yeah, also war is bad on principle.

Yeah, totally equal. The group already there was totally as bad as the group that invaded for no legitimate reason. Not to mention that in regards to the most famous parts of the Crusades, Saladin was more of a merciful leader and opponent than anyone on the other side. He also brought the surviving Jews back to…

You'd think a guy with an Italian last name who's cryptically fascist would be a little more careful about reminding people of that.

Rudy Giuliani - Terrorism Expert:

I keep hearing about the GOP's bold new ideas and deep bench but all I see is a guy who hasn't won an election in two decades saying someone he doesn't like hates America. Maybe I skipped a step.

Go home Rudy, you're drunk.

Ah, that special place where patriotism means shitting on the government every chance you get and doing anything you can to avoid paying taxes. But wars? Wars are cool. In short, Rudy, you're retired. Shouldn't you be in drag somewhere?